Saturday, September 23, 2006

30 Second Spots & Blank Wall 4 - Macaca's Jewish Mama

Only Mixed Meters dares to comment on current news stories in the form of instrumental music.

click here to hear Macaca's Jewish Mama - in honor of Virginia's Republican Senator, George Allen, a man who would be our President, already accused of bigotry because he called a person of Indian descent "macaca", who reacted to the revelation that his mother was Jewish (which means he could be Jewish too) in a way that leaves no doubt. Read a little bit more here and a lot more here. and way too much here.

Copyright © September 22, 2006 by David Ocker - 31 seconds

Many of us in the United States are living through history's greatest Golden Jewish Era. But remember IT CAN Happen Here. How easy would it be? Watch this hysterically frightening video of Borat singing a country tune about Jews to a group of my fellow Americans.

Here is BLANK WALL #4

Explanation of 30 second spots

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Blank Wall 3 - God and George II

"Let me explain the government to you. There's God, then there's the president and then there's my father."

Jack Roberts, 6-year-old son of Chief Justice John Roberts, overheard speaking to one of his young peers on the last day of summer camp.

This article came from here. I learned about it on The Debate Link a blog listed on Planet Carleton.

And here's a video trailer of the movie Jesus Camp (in which I've heard children are shown worshipping George Bush).

Someone has to train our side's fanatics for the upcoming mutual annihilation with their religious fanatics. But if that doesn't happen, these kids are going to become really nutcase adult citizens.

(Thanks to Tom Brodhead for the movie link. Click here if You Are Looking to Buy In Cleveland)

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

Blank Wall 2

My suggestion that we could reduce suicide bombings in the Middle East by trying to convert potential bombers to fundamentalist Mormonism is one of Mixed Meters most metrically mixed moments. By changing religion they could enjoy their virgins before they die instead of after. Here's the entire post "The Power of Commercials, The Supply of Virgins" (Since then Warren Jeffs has been captured - without a shootout.)

The product of the downtown L.A. film "shoot" I mentioned is now online. You can watch the Anti-Suicide Bombing Commercial here. The explosion isn't a great special effect.. Maybe a more realistic looking one would placate more bombers.

Meanwhile Iraqis are sending commercials our way also. Would you believe I saw a TV commercial promoting Kurdistan, the Other Iraq. (Do they have nice beaches in Kurdistan?)

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Winning our wars with sugar

I saw an LA Times article entitled Coca-Cola Goes to Afghanistan which reports that Coke is the "only major business to open in Afghanistan in more than a decade." (Don't want to register at LA Times? Here's another short article on the subject.)

Heck, what have we been waiting for? It's been nearly five years since we toppled the Taliban and I'm incredulous that we're just now pulling out our most powerful weapon - SUGAR!!! (Well, corn syrup probably, which is even more deadly.)

Of course, Coca-Cola might not be able to subdue the Afghan populace alone - I hope Phillip Morris will join the battle soon.

Here is a 1954 advertising movie, Members of the Family, part of Coca-Cola's successful campaign against the Phillipines. I suggest you count the number of times the announcer, with his hypnotic delivery and American accent, uses various forms of the word the F-word (um, in this case it would be "friend").

Here's a super-similar film aimed at Arabs. The musical number is more interesting in my opinion. Too bad we didn't use this weapon on Castro.

Disclaimer - the picture above is not a real bottle of Coke. Click here if you're curious what it really is. I think you'll be impressed.

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Lowered Expectations 2 - Blank Wall 1

According to a local TV station today is "a day the whole world will remember."

If we really wanted the whole world to remember we would say "September Eleventh", not "Nine Eleven". Do we know or care that the rest of the world might celebrate on November 9th.

But September 11 fits just so excellently into the U.S. political calendar; it's already a primary tool for manipulating our emotions and heightening our national desire for vengeance and revengeance.

Someday another attack, from the place we least expect, will start the cycle again. Want to start an office pool to guess the opening date of Gulf War Three?

ABC's The Path to 9/11 is getting a lot of notice for fictionalizing the pre-history of 9-11. The Power of Nightmares, a 3-part series from BBC would be a fine antidote.

Chapter One details the philosophical origins of our current religious & cultural war. Do you recognize these names: Sayed Qutb, infuriated by a coed church dance in 1949 Colorado, or Leo Strauss, who thought America ought to model itself after the TV show Gunsmoke? No, I never heard of them either.

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Saturday, September 09, 2006

Fallen Avocados 4

  • A piano player in a high class men's room?
  • Driving a baby grand on the streets (and waterways) of London?
Check out this video The Ad Lav Club with Dudley Moore at the keyboard, Peter Cook as the American television interviewer Hiram Pipesucker who impersonates the Duke and Duchess of Windsor (sorta), and John Lennon as the doorman.

Meanwhile, if you need to brush up on the personalities (and psychoses) of orchestra members (as seen by a conductor), read The Honest Person's Guide to the Orchestra (or try this link)

It has helpful info like:
  • Woodwind players have IQs in the low-to-mid-genius range. Nerds with coke-bottle glasses and big egos,
  • People who play the cello are simply not good looking.
  • The clarinet is, without a doubt, the easiest of all orchestral instruments to play.

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Fallen Avocados 3

Something I wonder about: Why is the CIA running Help Wanted advertisements on Fox Television during the Simpsons? Just what sort of people are they looking for? Someone like me?

LINK: Here's more help for lazy music students - learn to play the guitar, the electric bass and the drums all at the same time by watching this exceptional "video" (or "tape" or "show") called Three Piece Band - Kel McKeown splices 3 instructional videos (It's the one in the center; I've linked to it before - Maths, the video at the top, is a pleasant bit of English weirdness.)

PICTURE: Avocado, small and green, seeks hungry Squirrel.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Fallen Avocados 2

Today's Link, more help for the harried music professor - this in the form of the 1953 Walt Disney wide-screen animated orchestration text Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Boom - in about ten minutes your students will learn everything they need.

Some background (including "Disney vs. the union" history) is available at This is Not My Blog. I can't tell if anyone was even credited for the pleasingly out-there multi-stylistic score.

Today's Picture - another squirrel meal, served on a bed of (mostly) fresh greens.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Lowered Expectation - Fallen Avocados 1

In a time of deadlines here's a new MMF (Mixed Meters Feature) - The Lowered Expectation: one picture, one link, no rhyme, no reason, more often.

Link: Are you a professor of music history unprepared for your lecture on late 20th century electronic music? Play this piece for the little urchins and take some time off: Raiding the 20th Century by DJ Food. Always fascinating, completely illegal, mildly instructive, occasionally beyond brilliant.

Picture: squirrel food on our driveway

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