Wednesday, November 08, 2006

California Winners and Losers (Blank Walls #5 & #6)

Based on an exit poll of one person (me) and with almost all precincts reporting I can now accurately predict yesterday's election here in California.

The big losers will be Taxes and Pedophiles. We don't want any one to pay taxes for anything - ever. And we don't want pedophiles to live near children - or anywhere else either.


One big winner will be a geeky tech-CEO who apparently wants us to track pedophiles with his company's GPS devices. He'll be our Insurance Commissioner until he becomes a candidate for Governor.

Other big winners yesterday will be rich tobacco and oil corporations. They'll spend so much money confusing the facts on certain propositions that they might have bribed every single California voter with a nice bottle of French wine instead.

The California election's most shameful moment will have been in the all-important Lieutenant Governor's race. An election-eve television commercial essentially accusing the Republican candidate of murdering people by not supporting stem-cell research, our new political third-rail.



The biggest California winner will be the first female Speaker of the House - just two heartbeats from becoming the first female President. I wouldn't be surprised if Dick Cheney gives up hunting.

And finally, here's a prediction of the biggest winner nationally: the Republican Party. By losing their complete control of Congress they will avoid responsibility for fucking up the country and gain a straw man on whom to blame every problem during their re-ascent to power in 2008.


This election independent voters will have avoided voting for any corrupt, bribe-taking, hypocritical homosexual pedophile Republicans. But in just a couple weeks Ann Coulter will tell us, with her I-failed-High-School-debate-class logic, why the Democrats have already ruined the country again and need to be thrown out of office.

She needn't worry. The Democrats haven't got a prayer in Hell.



(The Ron Calderon sex offender flyer was from the primary election earlier this year. Wanna bet the pictures and Street Addresses are of real sex offenders and were used without permission? Click on the picture to read the addresses. Yesterday Calderon will win reelection hands down of course.)

PS. Before you blow your cool - I'm not in favor of pedophilia. But I'm also not in favor of politicians who get elected by using mass-hysterical paranoia and retribution against any group of people - no matter what crime they've been convicted of.

Either Open Source Voting Machine Software or Tags: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1 comment:

Scott said...

Who is Kelly Clarkson?